My Dearest Andy.
So latley i've been a bit down, and a bit sad because I know that it's over between us but i just wanted you to know that I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent those amazing 6 months together, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you. Louise.xxxx
Friday, July 31, 2009
and how do we say our goodbyes? should i laugh or should i cry?
So, its been a little while since i wrote properly, so i guess an update is in order.
So, i have to go to hospital on tuesday for some more tests, which isnt going to be nice, but at least hopefully they can get to the bottom of whats wrong with me. onthe plus side, at least its not as serious as they thought.
Im really tired at the moment though, because i've just been out every night trying to keep my mind off things, but at least on wednesday it will all be over.
Seeing Tiana's heart breaking, just made me remeber how bad it hurts, but it also made me hopefuly, because i don't feel that way anymore, my pain is healing, just as, in time, hers will. Each day is like a stepping stone for me, and im gradually healing and im learning to trust again, part of me is scared, and it's like, im afraid to be with anyone else because i dotn ever want to get hurt again, but im also excited, because falling in love is the most amazing thing and i cant wait to experiance it again :)
wish me luck for tuesday!
x
So, i have to go to hospital on tuesday for some more tests, which isnt going to be nice, but at least hopefully they can get to the bottom of whats wrong with me. onthe plus side, at least its not as serious as they thought.
Im really tired at the moment though, because i've just been out every night trying to keep my mind off things, but at least on wednesday it will all be over.
Seeing Tiana's heart breaking, just made me remeber how bad it hurts, but it also made me hopefuly, because i don't feel that way anymore, my pain is healing, just as, in time, hers will. Each day is like a stepping stone for me, and im gradually healing and im learning to trust again, part of me is scared, and it's like, im afraid to be with anyone else because i dotn ever want to get hurt again, but im also excited, because falling in love is the most amazing thing and i cant wait to experiance it again :)
wish me luck for tuesday!
x
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Fuck what I did was your fault somehow
Fuck the presents, I threw all that shit out
Fuck all the cryin' it didn't mean jack
Well guess what yo, fuck you right back
Fuck all those nights I moaned real loud
Fuck it, I faked it, aren't you proud
Fuck all those nights you thought you broke my back
Well guess what yo, your sex was wack
Fuck the presents, I threw all that shit out
Fuck all the cryin' it didn't mean jack
Well guess what yo, fuck you right back
Fuck all those nights I moaned real loud
Fuck it, I faked it, aren't you proud
Fuck all those nights you thought you broke my back
Well guess what yo, your sex was wack
Thursday, July 23, 2009
so,
i guess you wanna know what happened at the hopsital.
well, it wasnt niceee, and i had things done to me that i never want to go through again :L
haha
the good news is i dont have cancer
and i creids with relief when i heard that.
trust me, its a nice thing to hear
however, they do think i have something wrong, so i have to go back to hospital soon to have some other tests done, like cameras an stuff
will write more later :)
but yes, everything fine :) Xx
i guess you wanna know what happened at the hopsital.
well, it wasnt niceee, and i had things done to me that i never want to go through again :L
haha
the good news is i dont have cancer
and i creids with relief when i heard that.
trust me, its a nice thing to hear
however, they do think i have something wrong, so i have to go back to hospital soon to have some other tests done, like cameras an stuff
will write more later :)
but yes, everything fine :) Xx
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
believe
i dont want to be afraid
i wanna wake up feeling beautiful today and know that im okay,
cause everones perfect in usual ways.
so see i just wanna believe in me
i wanna wake up feeling beautiful today and know that im okay,
cause everones perfect in usual ways.
so see i just wanna believe in me
Monday, July 20, 2009
'Grief is like an illness. Different people respond to it in different ways, and they find different ways of treating the symptoms. It's like a virus, once its in your blood you can't fight it and there is no cure. You just have to travel with it and see where it takes you.'
When you lose someone, its hard, its really really hard. and i thought that it didnt have to be like that for me. I thought that, i could push it all out of my mind and i'd be okay. but the truth is, life hurts people, life hurts us all, and you think you can control the hurt but you cant. and being sad is nothing to be ashamed of. and i have lost a lot in this past year, and i am really sad about it, but im also really really angry.
so, when i first lost the biggest part in my life, my first thought was to get rid of any proof that he ever existed, and i most definatly did that. my second plan was to find someone who could get rid of the hurt, however, although it made it go away for a little while, i quickly learnt that healing myself, is something only i can do. and sure, it may take another month, or it may take a year before i can fully be okay again, but i will do it, and im certain of that :)
i think the truth is, it always hurts to lose, and i thought i was strong, and i could just get over it like that, but when someone lies to you, and stabs you in the fucking back and then breaks your heart after promising you so many things, you cant help but feel hurt.
and maybe i deal with grief in the wrong way, maybe being a bit of a slag, or partying too hard arent the best ways to get through it, but its MY way, and i AM getting through it, so i dont care if other people say im doing it all wrong.
and maybe, instead of keeping my mouth shut, i should be talking about it, but maybe i dont wanan talk about it. like i said, that person, did not exist as far as im concerned, so there is nothing to talk about.
so i may not be grieving in the right way, but im doing it my way
and im doing just fine.
xx
When you lose someone, its hard, its really really hard. and i thought that it didnt have to be like that for me. I thought that, i could push it all out of my mind and i'd be okay. but the truth is, life hurts people, life hurts us all, and you think you can control the hurt but you cant. and being sad is nothing to be ashamed of. and i have lost a lot in this past year, and i am really sad about it, but im also really really angry.
so, when i first lost the biggest part in my life, my first thought was to get rid of any proof that he ever existed, and i most definatly did that. my second plan was to find someone who could get rid of the hurt, however, although it made it go away for a little while, i quickly learnt that healing myself, is something only i can do. and sure, it may take another month, or it may take a year before i can fully be okay again, but i will do it, and im certain of that :)
i think the truth is, it always hurts to lose, and i thought i was strong, and i could just get over it like that, but when someone lies to you, and stabs you in the fucking back and then breaks your heart after promising you so many things, you cant help but feel hurt.
and maybe i deal with grief in the wrong way, maybe being a bit of a slag, or partying too hard arent the best ways to get through it, but its MY way, and i AM getting through it, so i dont care if other people say im doing it all wrong.
and maybe, instead of keeping my mouth shut, i should be talking about it, but maybe i dont wanan talk about it. like i said, that person, did not exist as far as im concerned, so there is nothing to talk about.
so i may not be grieving in the right way, but im doing it my way
and im doing just fine.
xx
Sunday, July 19, 2009
(8)Three cheers for five years
I spent a really long time, being sad, thinking about how strongly i felt about andy.
and now, im going to spend a really long time being excited, because i know that i will feel that way about someone again.
and until that time comes, decent and honest boys are walking into my life every day and teaching me to trust again.
Whether its callum, who just taught me to laugh again,
or chris, who walked me home and taught me that its okay to open up to someone.
i just do not know whats going to happen in the future.
but im over the hurting now,
and im not sad anymore.
im just living my life.
I have to go to hospital on wednesday for some tests, so hoepfully i will find out whats wrong with me then.
just keep your fingers crossed for me:(
xx
and now, im going to spend a really long time being excited, because i know that i will feel that way about someone again.
and until that time comes, decent and honest boys are walking into my life every day and teaching me to trust again.
Whether its callum, who just taught me to laugh again,
or chris, who walked me home and taught me that its okay to open up to someone.
i just do not know whats going to happen in the future.
but im over the hurting now,
and im not sad anymore.
im just living my life.
I have to go to hospital on wednesday for some tests, so hoepfully i will find out whats wrong with me then.
just keep your fingers crossed for me:(
xx
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
dont forget me
Did you forget
That I was even alive
Did you forget
Everything we ever had
Did you forget
Did you forget
About me
Did you regret
Ever standing by my side
Did you forget
What we were feeling inside
Now I'm left to forget
About us
But somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it
So now I guess
This is where we have to stand
Did you regret
Ever holding my hand
Never again
Please don't forget
Don't forget
We had it all
We were just about to fall
Even more in love
Than we were before
I won't forget
I won't forget
About us
But somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it
Somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it
At all
And at last
All the pictures have been burned
And all the past
Is just a lesson that we've learned
I won't forgetI won't forget us
But somewhere we went wrong
Our love is like a song
But you won't sing along
You've forgotten
About us
That I was even alive
Did you forget
Everything we ever had
Did you forget
Did you forget
About me
Did you regret
Ever standing by my side
Did you forget
What we were feeling inside
Now I'm left to forget
About us
But somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it
So now I guess
This is where we have to stand
Did you regret
Ever holding my hand
Never again
Please don't forget
Don't forget
We had it all
We were just about to fall
Even more in love
Than we were before
I won't forget
I won't forget
About us
But somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it
Somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it
At all
And at last
All the pictures have been burned
And all the past
Is just a lesson that we've learned
I won't forgetI won't forget us
But somewhere we went wrong
Our love is like a song
But you won't sing along
You've forgotten
About us
:'(
Whether i do have cancer, or whether i dont isnt the issue anymore.
because its woken me up.
i need to stop waiting around. i need to get out there and actually live.
you only get one life, and im ready to face everything its going to throw at me.
I dont need sympathy, all i need is my friends and my family to really pull together for me, and just pray that my test results come back negative.
and even though, there might be some horrible illness inside of me right now, taking over my body, im not going to sit here and cry about it.
because if the doctors suspicions are right, then there is nothing i can do about it.
i have to let nature take its course.
they will either be able to cure me.. or they wont.
before you think im being over dramatic, i better explain the whole situation.
for the last 6months, i havent been very well, if rather not go in to it too much, but ive put off going to the doctors for a really long time, partly because i was embarrassed and partly because i didnt want to hear what i had to say. but anyways, i went yesterday, and i listed all my symptoms, and he was pretty concerned, and along with the fact that ive lost a lot of weight, and my family history, he said he needs to urgently reffer me for tests. and here i am now.
if its not what the doctor thinks it is, then something is still very wrong, but he said we need to rule out the cancer first.
im seventeen and nothing prepared me for this.
i have honestly never felt so alone and so scared in my life.
and suddenly everything else seems so trivial.
getting broken up with by andy? yeh its nothign compared to this. trust me.
i dont need people to feel sorry for me, or walk on egg shells around me, or be any nice to me just cus this is happening, i just need support.
ad until i get my test results back, im going to carry on as normal.
keep your fingers crossed for me okay.
:'(
xx
because its woken me up.
i need to stop waiting around. i need to get out there and actually live.
you only get one life, and im ready to face everything its going to throw at me.
I dont need sympathy, all i need is my friends and my family to really pull together for me, and just pray that my test results come back negative.
and even though, there might be some horrible illness inside of me right now, taking over my body, im not going to sit here and cry about it.
because if the doctors suspicions are right, then there is nothing i can do about it.
i have to let nature take its course.
they will either be able to cure me.. or they wont.
before you think im being over dramatic, i better explain the whole situation.
for the last 6months, i havent been very well, if rather not go in to it too much, but ive put off going to the doctors for a really long time, partly because i was embarrassed and partly because i didnt want to hear what i had to say. but anyways, i went yesterday, and i listed all my symptoms, and he was pretty concerned, and along with the fact that ive lost a lot of weight, and my family history, he said he needs to urgently reffer me for tests. and here i am now.
if its not what the doctor thinks it is, then something is still very wrong, but he said we need to rule out the cancer first.
im seventeen and nothing prepared me for this.
i have honestly never felt so alone and so scared in my life.
and suddenly everything else seems so trivial.
getting broken up with by andy? yeh its nothign compared to this. trust me.
i dont need people to feel sorry for me, or walk on egg shells around me, or be any nice to me just cus this is happening, i just need support.
ad until i get my test results back, im going to carry on as normal.
keep your fingers crossed for me okay.
:'(
xx
Monday, July 13, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Baby i miss you :(
i didnt think i would but i do, and im just trying to be strong but its hard.
i miss the way you used to hold me when i was scared, and the way you used to talk to me when im upset,
and i just.. arg.. i miss everything.
and i just want you back.
but i dont think theres anything else i can say :/
so im gonna be strong.
move on and all that.
but i do miss you ok
i love you james :/
i didnt think i would but i do, and im just trying to be strong but its hard.
i miss the way you used to hold me when i was scared, and the way you used to talk to me when im upset,
and i just.. arg.. i miss everything.
and i just want you back.
but i dont think theres anything else i can say :/
so im gonna be strong.
move on and all that.
but i do miss you ok
i love you james :/
Thursday, July 09, 2009
i sitll belong to you.
remember us in this moment
cos what i'm about to say might hurt
so try to take a mental picture
so you'd never forget the way we were
cos the truth is more then i know you can take
that's why i'll understand if you can't stay
cos i lied when i said that i don't care anymore
cos everywhere i go, everything i do
takes me right back to you, gets me right back to ya
and i tried but i don't have the strength to pretend any more
i close my eyes, put your memories alive
and i'm right back, yes i'm right back to ya
i guess i still belong to you (still belong to you)
you were right when you told methat i would regret the choice i made(deep down everything belongs to you)
but through my eyes i just couldn't see it
til the sky was turning grey(deep down everything belongs to you)
it all fell apart when i did it my way
so i'll understand if you can't stay
cos i lied when i said that i don't care anymore
cos everywhere i go, everything i do
takes me right back to you, gets me right back to ya
and i tried but i don't have the strength to pretend anymore
i close my eyes, put your memories alive
and i'm right back, yes i'm right back to ya
i guess i still belong..me coming back home is a hard pill to swallow
cos i said that i'd never need you the moment i walked away
i find you're always the one who i wanna run to
cos you're still the one i belong to(yeah you're the one i belong to)
cos i lied when i said that i don't care anymorecos everywhere i go,
everything i do takes me right back to you, gets me right back to ya
and i tried but i don't have the strength to pretend anymore
i close my eyes, put your memories alive
and i'm right back, yes i'm right back to ya
i guess i still belong to you,
i guess i still belong to you
i guess i still belong to you, i still belong to you
i guess i still belong... i still belong to you
cos what i'm about to say might hurt
so try to take a mental picture
so you'd never forget the way we were
cos the truth is more then i know you can take
that's why i'll understand if you can't stay
cos i lied when i said that i don't care anymore
cos everywhere i go, everything i do
takes me right back to you, gets me right back to ya
and i tried but i don't have the strength to pretend any more
i close my eyes, put your memories alive
and i'm right back, yes i'm right back to ya
i guess i still belong to you (still belong to you)
you were right when you told methat i would regret the choice i made(deep down everything belongs to you)
but through my eyes i just couldn't see it
til the sky was turning grey(deep down everything belongs to you)
it all fell apart when i did it my way
so i'll understand if you can't stay
cos i lied when i said that i don't care anymore
cos everywhere i go, everything i do
takes me right back to you, gets me right back to ya
and i tried but i don't have the strength to pretend anymore
i close my eyes, put your memories alive
and i'm right back, yes i'm right back to ya
i guess i still belong..me coming back home is a hard pill to swallow
cos i said that i'd never need you the moment i walked away
i find you're always the one who i wanna run to
cos you're still the one i belong to(yeah you're the one i belong to)
cos i lied when i said that i don't care anymorecos everywhere i go,
everything i do takes me right back to you, gets me right back to ya
and i tried but i don't have the strength to pretend anymore
i close my eyes, put your memories alive
and i'm right back, yes i'm right back to ya
i guess i still belong to you,
i guess i still belong to you
i guess i still belong to you, i still belong to you
i guess i still belong... i still belong to you
Andy Bunney(L)
When you left, i acted like i was really strong, like i didnt care, but the truth is, i did care. You broke my fucking heart, and nothing has ever hurt that bad in my life, i didnt want to tell you that because i didnt want you to know that you hurt me, because then you'd think you had one up on me, but you did hurt me okay.
However, im over it now, and im not sad anymore. I was sad for a really long time though, and there were some days where i jsut didnt wanna get out of bed, but i forced myself to get out there and have fun, and i learnt to appreciate people more closley because no-one sticks around forever.
and i am happy that you left, because im so happy now, ive done some amazing things with my life, and ive gotten close to some amazing people. and you taught me so much, like how to be hoenst, and in my next relationship, im gonna do so good baby i promsie. im always gonna talk about my feelings and never do anythign to get back at them. so i just wanted to say thankyou for teaching me those things, and also thankyou for always being there through everything, but the truth is i would of been okay without you. when you left i had to learn how to cope with my panic attacks on my own, and it has been really really hard, but im so much stronger now.
We had a crap relationship, and we shouldt of lasted 6 months tbh, but, like, we did and i cant change that.
but thankyou, for the support, and the smiles and the memories, and the chinease etc :L
and you said youd always be there, but thats not true, because so much stuff has gone on at home since, but i didnt bother to call you cus i know you wouldnt be there.
i jsut wanted you to know im not sad anymore, more angry.. i dunno.
some reasons why im happy you left
1) (L)Codie smith. I love this girl more than life itself. she has been such an amazing friend to me, and i probly wouldnt of even met her if you hadnt left.
2) i leant to be strong.
3)im happier
so anyways, i jsut wanted you to know how happy you made me, but also how sad and angry i am too. and because you know me inside out, i think your gonna understand how hard it was for me to write this.
i hope you read this. x
However, im over it now, and im not sad anymore. I was sad for a really long time though, and there were some days where i jsut didnt wanna get out of bed, but i forced myself to get out there and have fun, and i learnt to appreciate people more closley because no-one sticks around forever.
and i am happy that you left, because im so happy now, ive done some amazing things with my life, and ive gotten close to some amazing people. and you taught me so much, like how to be hoenst, and in my next relationship, im gonna do so good baby i promsie. im always gonna talk about my feelings and never do anythign to get back at them. so i just wanted to say thankyou for teaching me those things, and also thankyou for always being there through everything, but the truth is i would of been okay without you. when you left i had to learn how to cope with my panic attacks on my own, and it has been really really hard, but im so much stronger now.
We had a crap relationship, and we shouldt of lasted 6 months tbh, but, like, we did and i cant change that.
but thankyou, for the support, and the smiles and the memories, and the chinease etc :L
and you said youd always be there, but thats not true, because so much stuff has gone on at home since, but i didnt bother to call you cus i know you wouldnt be there.
i jsut wanted you to know im not sad anymore, more angry.. i dunno.
some reasons why im happy you left
1) (L)Codie smith. I love this girl more than life itself. she has been such an amazing friend to me, and i probly wouldnt of even met her if you hadnt left.
2) i leant to be strong.
3)im happier
so anyways, i jsut wanted you to know how happy you made me, but also how sad and angry i am too. and because you know me inside out, i think your gonna understand how hard it was for me to write this.
i hope you read this. x
I can't have it both ways
I'm sorry that I said goodbye
people say I did the right thing
but they don't have to cry
I can love you for all the things that you are
and then hate you for all the things that you're not
I want you to go,
I want you to stay
but I can't have it both ways,
I can't have it both ways
PLEASE BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY, I DIDNT TURN AWAY FROM YOU BECAUSE I HATED YOU, AND I DIDNT WANT TO TALK TO YOU, BUT I HAD TO WALK AWAY BECAUSE I COULDNT BEAR TO SEE YOU WALKING AWAY FROM ME.
I'm sorry that I said goodbye
people say I did the right thing
but they don't have to cry
I can love you for all the things that you are
and then hate you for all the things that you're not
I want you to go,
I want you to stay
but I can't have it both ways,
I can't have it both ways
PLEASE BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY, I DIDNT TURN AWAY FROM YOU BECAUSE I HATED YOU, AND I DIDNT WANT TO TALK TO YOU, BUT I HAD TO WALK AWAY BECAUSE I COULDNT BEAR TO SEE YOU WALKING AWAY FROM ME.
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Heres to...
Here’s to being lied to. To being walked on, used, promised something and fed bullshit. Here’s to seeing the best in him, not believing that he could possibly be as awful as he turned out to be. Here's to trusting over and over and over again because you really wanted to believe that what he did was a mistake. You wanted to believe that he’s changed. He won't change. The way he was and the way he is, is the way that he always will be. If he lies to you, he doesn’t feel that you are good enough to hear the truth. If he plays you, you don’t mean enough for him to be with just you. Breaking a promise means he is okay with disappointing you. He knows what he is doing when he is doing it. He knows it will hurt you and he does it anyway. And as much as he says he does, he doesn’t really care about you. Here's to him saying he’s sorry. With him its just one of those words that he's said so many times and it doesn’t even sound like a word anymore. The only reason he is sorry is because he was caught in his lies. Excuses mean nothing. Nothing he could possibly come up with could fix what he did. Now take this as a lesson learned, let go and move on with your life…
After andy, i really really didnt wanna fall for you, because i didnt wanna trust anyone, and i didnt wanna get my heart broken. but you PROMSIED you would be there to catch me. you said forever. but im starting to learn, promsies mean fuck all. so thankyou for completley and utterly screwing me over and breaking my heart. you hurt me waaaay worse thn anything andy ever did.
karmas a bitch i guess.
:/
After andy, i really really didnt wanna fall for you, because i didnt wanna trust anyone, and i didnt wanna get my heart broken. but you PROMSIED you would be there to catch me. you said forever. but im starting to learn, promsies mean fuck all. so thankyou for completley and utterly screwing me over and breaking my heart. you hurt me waaaay worse thn anything andy ever did.
karmas a bitch i guess.
:/
Monday, July 06, 2009
('.')
Thankyou.
Thnakyou for leaving me so i could learn to be strong,
you brought me to james,
so i am thankful.
&&&Jamesss, thankyou.
your changing me so much.
and i love you for it.
i have nevr had a relationship like this before.
we actually are amazing.
and i wasnt kidding when i said forever.
i could love for forever
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thnakyou for leaving me so i could learn to be strong,
you brought me to james,
so i am thankful.
&&&Jamesss, thankyou.
your changing me so much.
and i love you for it.
i have nevr had a relationship like this before.
we actually are amazing.
and i wasnt kidding when i said forever.
i could love for forever
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Saturday, July 04, 2009
jamesjamesjames
I love you.
Everytime i even think about you i get butterflies in my tummy.
You make me smile so much.
your just perfect.
and im terrified to lose you, i cant help that, and with everyone saying your a player, it isnt easy, believe me, but im gonna give you a chance, so please dont make me regret that.
you promised me you wont break my heart, so please dont.
i cant see any reason for this relationship ever ending, unless you walk. because my feelings for you are never gonna change, and we are never gonna argue, because like you already said, we talk about everything, and reassure each other so much, and we've already come across some pretty rough times, but we've worked through all of them.
and i love how understanding you are with everything im going through.
and i was scared to be in a relationship with you, because im so scared to get my heart broken, but with everything that happened last night, it just made me realise how special you are to me, and i just didnt wanan be without you anymore.
i ccan just tell that this relationship is going to be amazing
i love you my baby :)
forever and always
xxxxxxx
Everytime i even think about you i get butterflies in my tummy.
You make me smile so much.
your just perfect.
and im terrified to lose you, i cant help that, and with everyone saying your a player, it isnt easy, believe me, but im gonna give you a chance, so please dont make me regret that.
you promised me you wont break my heart, so please dont.
i cant see any reason for this relationship ever ending, unless you walk. because my feelings for you are never gonna change, and we are never gonna argue, because like you already said, we talk about everything, and reassure each other so much, and we've already come across some pretty rough times, but we've worked through all of them.
and i love how understanding you are with everything im going through.
and i was scared to be in a relationship with you, because im so scared to get my heart broken, but with everything that happened last night, it just made me realise how special you are to me, and i just didnt wanan be without you anymore.
i ccan just tell that this relationship is going to be amazing
i love you my baby :)
forever and always
xxxxxxx
Friday, July 03, 2009
Thursday, July 02, 2009
:D
Louise! :L somehow you have managed to get under my skin more than anyone ever did says:
well ,its not that he doesnt wanna be with me, he does, and like hes said he does, but im holding back, cus im just scared of getting hurt, even though i know im going to but like, yeh :(
- Tommy Womey Nicoley Woley ... -- Alright boyzies says:
louise.. sometimes.. you just have to go with yourself.. .. at the moment.. your mind is over powering your heart.. just go for it girl you never know. this could be the love of your life
well ,its not that he doesnt wanna be with me, he does, and like hes said he does, but im holding back, cus im just scared of getting hurt, even though i know im going to but like, yeh :(
- Tommy Womey Nicoley Woley ... -- Alright boyzies says:
louise.. sometimes.. you just have to go with yourself.. .. at the moment.. your mind is over powering your heart.. just go for it girl you never know. this could be the love of your life
i love you. (L)
Im okay.
Because im back in a time where bunnies are just cute little animals, and that word means nothing else to me anymore.
when people break up, you tend to spend ages getting over it, but with me, i just shut that certain person out of my life, not because i wanted to, but because i had to.
and its been two months now, and i'll tell you the truth, you did break my heart, so you got what you always wanted, to hurt me. i hope you feel like the bigger person now :)
and ive been thinking about how it was my fault , because of a certain mistake i made, but it wasnt my fault, the truth is, our relationship was breaking down anyways. we fought all the time, and the jelousy and the anger was eating me up.
so yes, i have a lot of bruises, but im hellav happy.
and now, im not just giving up.
im moving on :)
tonight when james calls me, im gonna tell him im ready.
i want to be his girl more than anything in the world.
hes so special to me, and he is living proof that when you let go of the past something better comes along.
hes so kind and understanding, and hes jsut amazing.
and i do get jelous, we both do. but its not the kind of jelousy that eats you up, its more because he means so much to me and im scared to lose him, and i tell him when im jelous, and he holds me so close and strokes my hair and says 'baby, you have nothing to be jelous over. i dont want any other girl' and it just reassures me so much.
he also tells me forever, and i dont know if im ever going to be able to fully believe that, but hey, who knows, it does happen.
some people would say its too soon, and yeah whatever, maybe, but i love james. and i want to be with him for a really,really long time.
this relationship is perfect.
and im not giving up.
i love you babyyy.
always
xxxxxxxxx
Because im back in a time where bunnies are just cute little animals, and that word means nothing else to me anymore.
when people break up, you tend to spend ages getting over it, but with me, i just shut that certain person out of my life, not because i wanted to, but because i had to.
and its been two months now, and i'll tell you the truth, you did break my heart, so you got what you always wanted, to hurt me. i hope you feel like the bigger person now :)
and ive been thinking about how it was my fault , because of a certain mistake i made, but it wasnt my fault, the truth is, our relationship was breaking down anyways. we fought all the time, and the jelousy and the anger was eating me up.
so yes, i have a lot of bruises, but im hellav happy.
and now, im not just giving up.
im moving on :)
tonight when james calls me, im gonna tell him im ready.
i want to be his girl more than anything in the world.
hes so special to me, and he is living proof that when you let go of the past something better comes along.
hes so kind and understanding, and hes jsut amazing.
and i do get jelous, we both do. but its not the kind of jelousy that eats you up, its more because he means so much to me and im scared to lose him, and i tell him when im jelous, and he holds me so close and strokes my hair and says 'baby, you have nothing to be jelous over. i dont want any other girl' and it just reassures me so much.
he also tells me forever, and i dont know if im ever going to be able to fully believe that, but hey, who knows, it does happen.
some people would say its too soon, and yeah whatever, maybe, but i love james. and i want to be with him for a really,really long time.
this relationship is perfect.
and im not giving up.
i love you babyyy.
always
xxxxxxxxx
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