freedom

When andy first left, sams mum told me to make a list, of all the things i want to achieve, and although it may have seemed like a pretty crap idea at the time, when i look at that list now, and how many things i've ticked off, i feel so much better. I've moved schools, and i've got a job interview on thursday, and all these little things, and im just looking at my life, and im doing all these things ,and im starting to realise that i dont need andy to complete me. or any boy for that matter.
im happy, and im moving on and im smiling.
and yeah, some people may say that me moving schools is running away, but its not. i owe it to myself, to go back to where im comfortable ,and where everything is familiar and im around my friends. i dont want to have to see andy every day, i just dont.
i think i finally got what i deserved.. freedom

:)

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[c=#3197CE]Conor.[/c] VIDZONE IS AWESOME! says:
louise your never going to move on unless you just shut him out your life and not give a fuck whether he lives or dies. as much as it would hurt you'd be so much happier if he had nothing to do with you

ALL YOU DO IS MAKE ME ANGRY YOU TWAT
SO STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE BECAUSE I DONT FUCKING NEED YOU
YOUR A FUCKING LIAR AND I DONT WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU
CAN YOU NOT TAKE A HINT?
IM MOVING ON

I really really like you.
and i do find it hard to tell you.
i get so far and then i just pull back.
and im sorry for that.
i want to give you my everything but im afraid.
and i know you say you wont ever hurt me, but, ive heard that before.
but you need to know, i miss you when your not around.
And i love how nice you are, and how we take this slow, and i love how you dont ask questions. you dont ever ask where i dssapear to on a monday afternoon, or why sometimes i cook food and dont eat it all, or why i freak out at certain situations.
But i know you'd listen and hold me if i ever wanted to talk to you about it.
i do like you ok, and i promise one day im gonna say it back to you next time you tell me how much i mean to you

THIS WAS NEVER SUPPOSSED TO BE A WAR
IT WAS SUPPOSSED TO BE LOVE

JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE
STAY OUT OF MY LIFE AND LET ME MOVE ON
BECAUSE IM SO MUHC HAPPIER WHEN YOUR NOT AROUND
YOU CANT JUST USE ME FOR SEX
IM WORTH MORE THAN THAT
SO JUST GO

there are reasons why your my best friend thomas davis (L)

Tom says:
and can you not see something?
Louise! :L says:
how do you mean
Tom says:
I mean everything. Can you NOT see it. Can you see what he is doing?
Louise! :L says:
no
Tom says:
Ok, he wants you for one thing. He will do anything to get that. I mean ANYTHING. He will trick you into something (like getting back together) and then have sex. He just wants you for SEX. Nothing else! He doesnt want a relationship. He knows how to get it from you, thats why he still talks to you. If he knew he couldn't, he would of fucked off as soon as you broke up. He is a typical guy.
Tom says:
They do anything for sex. What ever he says, hes lying.. doesn't matter how convincing it is. He is lying.
Louise! :L says:
but i miss him.
Louise! :L says:
and it hurts sometimes
Tom says:
You have to overcome that. You NEED to move on! I'm sorry, but you just need to know what he is doing. There is no other way of telling it. I just want to let you know why and what he is doing. You don't see it because you miss him. I see it tho, if I told scott, he will see it, if I told anyone else, they will see it. (Get the gist).
Tom says:
I'm just trying to make you happy and going back to Andy will not make you happy. It will be the same all over again. I don't want that, and I wouldn't imagine you would either. Why would you want to be in a relationship which you argue and get jealous all the time? You want a relationship where you are happy, have a great time with eacohother, it should be the best thing. No arguing. Nothing.
Tom says:
Going back with andy is NOT that.

Tom says:
He does to meet up to have sex. Beleive me. Hes a guy. Fun = Sex. He knows how to get to you and use you now.. Dont fall for it. He is lying. Gareentee that. Don't even how temping it is, just don't. Please move on. I'm just trying to do the best for you. Trying to make you happy. Going back to him will not be good, basically.

(L)Jordan Ivey

Louise! :L says:
can i ask you a question?
- Jord Lyddd. says:
okk
Louise! :L says:
after all the times i hurt you, and all the shit i put you through. why did you take me back a year ago?
- Jord Lyddd. says:
cas i loved you still obvs
Louise! :L says:
but i hurt you so much, and you still forgave me. why? i dont think i could do it. and andy obviously cant, and what me and him went through wasnt half as bad as what i did to you, and yet he still wont forgive and forget.
- Jord Lyddd. says:
obviously he doesnt love you then
Louise! :L says:
so, your saying, that if he really loved me, then hed ignore what his friends say, and forget what i did and make a fresh start with me? and because hes not doing that, he doesnt love me and i should just move on and find a lovely boy who will treat me right
- Jord Lyddd. says:
yeh, thats right
- Jord Lyddd. says:
Look, when you really love someone, you forgive them for anything. Love is all about being able to see the best in people. It's about being able to love them despite how much they hurt you. You did something to andy, which hurt him, but the point is, and this is what you have to realise, even though you were wrong, he's been a bigger twat than you were because he wont take you back. You will find someone better i promise you. Now, take this as a lesson learned. Forget him. Pick up the pieces and move on with your life. Because you don't need him.

just a boy

Im starting to realise that he's just a boy
a special one maybe
but he's not mine
and i can;t do things to make him love me.
if he wanted to, he would.

Before the storm

I know this isn't what I wanted
I never thought it come this far
Just thinking back to where we started
And how we lost all that we are
We were young and times were easy
But I could see it's not the same
I'm standing here but you don't see me
I'd give it all for that to change
And I don't want to lose her
Don't wanna let her go
Just standing out in the rain
I need to know if it's over,
because I would leave you alone
Flooded with all this pain knowing that I'll never hold her
Like I did before the storm
Before the storm
With every strike of lighten
Comes a memory that lasts
And not a word is left unspoken
As the thunder starts to crash
And maybe I should give up
Just standing out in the rain
I need to know if it's over,
because I would leave you alone
Flooded with all this pain knowing that I'll never hold her
Like I did before the storm
Trying to keep from lights are going out
And the clouds from ripping out my broken heart
We always say
A heart is not a whole without the one who gets you through the storm
Just standing out in the rain
Knowing that's it really over,
please don't leave me alone
Flooded with all this pain
knowing that I'll never hold you
Like I did before the storm
Yeah Like I did before the storm

I cried today.
Not because i miss you.
But because i realised im gonna be alright without you.

My sister (L)

Louise! says:
I know you hate me for making andy leave, and im really really sorry :'(
Lucy! BABYYY says:
WTF? Lu. I dont hate you for making him go. HE was the one that left YOU. That KNOB left you broken and i was the 1 who had to pick up the pieces, so its him im mad at for that, not you.Sure, you did a bad thing, but he didn't stick around long enough to work it out.
Lucy! BABYYYsays:
Im mad at you, because your still letting him use you. Your letting him take advantage of him,and he knows he can because he knows you still love him. So STOP being so stupid. I hope we never have to see him again, so shut him out. please. do it for me. i dont want to see you sad anymore.
Lucy! BABYYY says:
How about James?
Louise! says:
:( i like him, but, im scared to be happy.
Lucy! BABYYY says:
Well, i like him and i would be quite happy if the two of you get married.
Louise! says:
But im scared of you liking him, i dont want you to get close to him :(
Lucy! BABYYY says:
Luuuuuuu. i'll be fine. im NOT sad that andy is gone,. because of how he hurt you. So just do the right thing and make yourself happy. ok?!!!!!

The past is done.
Its unchangeable
Move on

Everyone is taught to look both ways before crossing the street and to talk quietly in the libary.
But no-one ever learns anything that matters.
Like how to keep breathing when your heart breaks in two.

Haven't you got it by now?
I hate you and i dont want you in my life.
leave me the fuck alone.

(8)its alright, its ok. im so much better without you..

You asked me to fight for you.
And i did.
I fought for a really long time.
But it got to the point where i realised, there's no point in fighting with thin air.

I think the only reason i got over andy so quick, was because i refused to let myself sit around and get sad about it. whereas with jordan, i used to listen to sad songs and go places that reminded me of him, but with andy, i completley shut him out. nothing reminds me of him anymore. the past three weeks have been the best three weeks of my life. ive done so many new things, and yeah ive been scared but, ive done it. i forced myself to get out there and meet new people and take chances, because ive got nothing to hold me back. And ive planned so much for this summer, so i always have something to look forward too. the next few weeks involve, beach camping, parties, STRIPPERS! oh yeah haha and just meeting a lot of new people :)
ive already met some people who make me smile, but i know im not ready for anythign seriosu yet, but that jsut proves that in the future, theres always gonna be someone. im not gonna be alone forever.
when he first ended it, i thought it was the end of the world, but tbh, a lot more good things came out of it than bad.
1.it made me stronger. i had to do things on my own, andy was lways there for me when i had my little 'funny turns' but i learnt to cope with it an im doing jsut fine.
2. it brought me hellavu lot closer to my friends. sam has been amazing the past few weeks. and as for all my ladsss, we've had so much fun haha. runnin naked around a field has never felt so good ;)
3.it taught me everything i want my future guy to be. everything that he wasnt.
4.it taught me to be honest.

so you see, its not the end of the world. its jsut the begginning. so heres to the summer, and fun, and friendship.
pictures of partying comign soon!

xxx

I swear to god if you marry him im moving out.
im not even joking.
thanks mum. thanks a lot for choosing him over us.