(L)jamesjamesjames

so, last night, me and james talked on the phone until the sun came up.
and i finally told him about everything.
about the panic attacks and just.. everything.
and he didnt laugh. or make me feel stupid. he just said 'next time i see you im giving you the biggst hug ever, and im gonna hold you so tight and tell you how im not going anywhere and im gonna support you'
and it just made me feel so much better knowing that i dont have to hide stuff from him.
hes just so lovely, and kind and understanding
and when hes holding me in his arms i feel so safe
hes the best thing thats happened to me in a while
and when he kisses me, its like something inside is telling me to never let him go.
and on saturday night i get to sleep wth his arms arond me, and i just know its going to be the most magical night ever :)

and as for andy, everyone told me i would start to hate him, but i didnt believe them.
they were right though.
and id rather be filled with hate, than the empty sadness ive been feeling for the last month.
im over it, and im okay :)

(8)guess what,
im having more fun,
now that we're done.

xx