arg :@

ARG I FUCKING HATE YOU,
YOU STUPID TWAT
JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE
YOUR THE SHITTEST BOYFRIEND IVE EVER HAD
YOU WANKER
ALL YOU DO IS FUCKING HURT ME
FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

panic attacks

With everything going on latley, im having to really dig deep inside me and remember alot of things that i don't really want to remember. Im having to look right back into my past and allow myself to feel things that i havent felt in such a long time.
And its just funny that the decisions you make really do decide who your going to be.
Like, maybe if id never moved to heles, i wouldnt of had these panic attacks, but then again i wouldnt of met andy, so its a small price to pay.
But if i hadnt had them. maybe i wouldnt be looking back so far and in doing so, im figutring out alot of things about myself that i once forgot.
im gonna be okay you know.
its gonna take a long time, but im gonna be just fine.

im jelous, and im angry, and im sad, and im confused, and im scared, and i dont know whats happening to my body, i dont know why im feeling the way i do and it scares me. so bear with me okay. because im going through a lot of changes and im having to adapt and im having to fight like hell, and its fucking hard but im doing it. im starting to realise that sometimes you just have to lose. And i think im okay with that.

What you're telling is just a story. It isn't happening anymore. When you realize the story you're telling is just words, when you can just crumble it up and throw your past in the trashcan, then we'll figure out who you're going to be

The way i loved you

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breakin' down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

My heart

Im scared and im angry and im jelous and im sad and im lonely and im confused and my heart is literally breaking.

Andy Bunney

Andy Bunney, you broke my fucking heart and nothing you can say or do can ever make this relationship be the same again.
Your boyfriend is suppossed to be the one person who you can trust more than anyone, and when you cant trust them with everything that you are, what do you do?
YOU FUCKING BROKE MY HEART AND YOU DONT EVEN GIVE A SHIT.
It hurt, what you did, it really really hurt me.
And i didnt wanna cause an argument because i love you too much, but it hurt me really deep and you need to realise that.
Please, please just stop doing these silly things to me, stop thinking i'll let you get away with everything just because i cant stay mad at you.
You use that to your fucking advantage, you think you can do all this shit with other girls and that it wont matter because i wont stay mad at you.
I love you, and im giving you my fucking heart, so please stop breaking it.
I deserve to be treated right after everything i went through with jordan.
I THOUHGT YOU WERE DIFFERENT ANDY BUNNEY, BUT YOUR NOT, YOUR EXACTLY THE SAME AS EVERY OTHER FUCKER IVE EVER BEEN WITH.


I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE ME.
AND I WANT THEM TO LOVE ME RIGHT.

Please. It hurts so much.